I hate what you have helped me become.

Without saying a word you hold your power over my head everyday. And the silence is your power, as you know I would never be able to speak the truth. And of course it is thrown in my face everyday and I have no way of escaping.

I could have turned it all into my advantage but instead I let it eat me from the inside. To the point of no-one else even understands me anymore.

You rule the nightmares in my dreams that never seem to disappear. You seen to take pleasure in coming back to haunt me as you know I now will not break.

But I blame myself for what I let you make me become. I just don't know if I could deal with the guilt of knowing that you did the same thing again and destroyed their life as much as you have done to mine...

So the big adventure into the unknown has not turned out to be so great. What really have I achieved in my 2 years out here. In my eyes pretty much nothing.
I have had more stuff happen to me that I would ever wish upon anybody. And of course no-one out here knows anything about it. If people out here don't know about it then I can try to forget about it - somehow. Other than when it comes and finds me in my nightmares. And the people who I did break down and tell, they are pretty much non-existant parts of my life now.
Something needs to give.

I am so happy that this thing still works. And from what I can figure out no-one uses theirs anymore. So maybe I will finally get some anonymousity.