A new life

As of 4.30pm Alberta time yesterday a very new important person came into this world. My new baby nephew was born, Sean Russell. He sounds like an absolute cutie and I wish I could be there to see him but having photos sent is going to be good enough for the moment. My brother seems to be over the moon, apparently he couldn't keep his hands off him and was just walking through the ward with him in his arms. Yet again my brother who is meant to be all tough, cowboy type has turned all mushy on us.
But the birth of my new baby nephew has made me do more thinking - yeah I know its dangerous. My sister is leaving for 2 weeks in Canada on sunday and will be going to see my brother and his family. And I'm turning into a green monster about it. She has seen my niece more than I have and now she is seeing my nephew when he will be less than 3 weeks old. And guess what I am going to be lucky if I see him at Christmas at what he will be 7 months old. My niece will be 3 years old tomorrow and guess what I have spent time with her for a whole 10 days of her life.
Is staying here the best thing I can do? Do I really want to miss out on seeing my niece and nephew grow up? Am I going to end up having the relationship with them like I have had with my aunts and uncles in I stay here? Never seeing them and never seeing the important things that happen to them.
Can I really give all these things up and stay here? Or do I just give up what I want and go be with my family?
All I know is that being here right now sucks and if I could be in Canada I would do it in a second.