Today has been a hard day with too many things happening.

1) faye said the case study was spot on so I don't have to do any extra work on it-woohoo!!

2) I was looking through all my photos tonight and it was the first time since my granddad died 18months ago that I have looked through all the photos of us and not cried- it was a good achievement for me.

3)I went to the doctor and yet again he has decided that I have to go back to my counsellor. But it took him 20 minutes just for me to agree to leave my number for her to call me. I don't want to go back as I don't think it will help anymore. We both know that if I went back on my happy pills it would have to be the old ones which worked but they have changed the procedure to get them and the only way I can be prescribed them now is for a psychiatrist to give them to me. I really don't want to have a psych assessment. And the other option is Prozac and I don't want that either. We will see in time what happens I guess.

4)Why does such bad things always happen to people who don't deserve it. A really close friend mum's cancer has come back and I don't know how any of them can be so strong. My friend tries to keep it together so much cos she doesn't want her mum to see how she feels. Other than her boyfriend I am the only one who she opens up to but I never know what to say. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and to make it all better for her. I feel like such a crap friend when she needs me the most.

5) there is a guy out there who knows who he is if he reads this. I wish there was something I could do to say thankyou to him. He always seems to be there when I am getting to my lowest. He always lets me moan, bitch and complain at him. And lets me dump all my crap on him. I feel so bad for always doing it to him. I don't think he knows how thankful I really am for all the times he has been there. So if you do read this- Thankyou and I mean it from the bottom of my heart! If there is anything I can ever do for you please let me know. You have helped me more than you will ever know.