The summer has finally arrived

This weekend has been one of those long weekends where you get nothing done that you had planned. My sister and her hubby came down for the weekend as it was fathers day yesterday. I think this weekend was good but I don't really now, I just seemed to walk along in it with everyone telling me what to do and last night I was laying in my bed thinking where did "my" weekend go? They had theirs but where was mine.
Yes I love my family very much but it just bugs me at times that they think I will always fit in with their plans. I had revision to do this weekend for my final exam on Wednesday- did I get to do that? No! I have 13 days now to finish making faye's wedding present, I am not even half way through it but did I get to that? No!
In the end I just seemed to be following behind all of them being told what I was doing. Doing the first bbq of the summer but I got to play with fire so that wasn't so bad. I think the top of the iceberg yesterday was we had told dad he could have whatever he wanted to eat as it was fathers day- so he chose homemade pizza and greek salad. With the heat at over 30 degrees yesterday I spent over 2 and a half hours in a boiling hot kitchen with the oven on full blast making pizzas from scratch for the whole family. While they all swaned around doing whatever they wanted to do. My sister had agreed on Friday that she would help me do the meal- but oh no, she goes out shopping then comes back going I'm all hot and tired so I'm going to go into the garden and chill out with some ice tea. Was I allowed to do that? I think not!
Well anyway my dad liked his day and my brother rang him as well which made it even better. Maybe I should take it the weekend was a good weekend then. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being too selfish and when my family are here I should give everything up and do whatever it is they want to do.

My counsellor did ring me on Friday as I hoped she would, she still hasn't spoken to my doctor yet as he seems to be doing a good job of avoiding her. She asked me how my week had been and I couldn't tell her how much I had messed up that week. I have always been able to tell her anything before because I know she is the one person who won't judge me for it and I don't know why I didn't tell her because it is something I need to talk to someone about. Maybe it will now become one of those things that I just end up keeping to myself and never telling anyone.

My sister this weekend made some comment to me that is now stuck in my head and for some reason I can't get rid of it. When she arrived on Friday I was up in my room listening to music and singing along like I do. I never even heard her come in and she just says to me- "how many times have you listened to that album this week since I gave it to you?" I reply -"2/3 times." She just looks in shock at me and asks me if I'm being serious. Yes I was being serious. And then the comment comes out- "How do you do it? I give you an album with every song on it you have never heard before. You listen to the whole thing 2/3 times and now you can sing along to it knowing all the words. You always seem to do that but I want to know why? You seriously are a very strange/'special' sister." I never have even noticed that I do it, up until she listens to me without me knowing she is there and she figures it out. I don't know why I keep thinking about it but I do. I think from now on I have to play my music a little quieter so I can here when people are coming within ear shot. Or even safer I just don't sing anymore-now that would be the safest option for everyone.