I cant do it anymore and I don’t know what to do. I cant even trust my own judgement any longer. I keep making mistake after mistake and tearing everything apart. I just mess everything up and everyone who comes near me. It seems that everything I go near at the moment just turns bad. And it is hurting the people I love.
I don’t even know who I am now, I don’t know which part is me and which is the depression. I don’t know what I want from life, what I want to do with life, what I even need right now. All I know is that I’m sick of hurting everyone around me. They shouldn’t have to deal with me like this, as they all deserve so much better. I want to find me again and have the dreams I wanted to fulfil. I want to be genuinely smiling at everyone rather than wearing this convincing mask. I just want to be me again.






How can they say it is easy?
How can they not regret?
How do you trust your choices?
As you fall with every step.

Go further in the darkness
The pain and fear surrounding
Not being able to see a way out
The walls closing in around you

I just wish I could get out
From this hell that I am living
To find a way back to the light
Where the tears stop flowing.

Will someone show me the way?
Or do I just keep sinking?
Will they see past the mask?
And see that I’m actually breaking.

With the darkness all around now
The cold driven to the bone
Where my soul is still bleeding
Where do I go?

Am I still me?
Or has the dark over taken?
Does the pain run too deep?
That it can never be broken.