Sparkly shoes

Lots and lots has happened today, keeping busy is a good thing right now cos it stops me from thinking. I spent most of the day shopping with Em in Gloucester and found a pair of shoes for the wedding. The are white strappy thongs with sequins sewn on top. When the sequins hits the light, they become all pearlized pink and purple - they are so cool!! I have sparkly shoes -WOOHOO!!!!!!!! But I still haven't found a top to wear over my strappy top. I wouldn't care that much but I actually need to pretend to look half decent as I have to stand up in front of everyone for this reading. I'm getting more and more scared about it by the day right now.

Anyway then I had rangers tonight and we did our second evening of our service project. We have been helping an elderly couple in their 80's/90's. We have repainted their gates, weeded their garden, did some pruning, watered all the flowers, planted some new flowers and gave the front of the house a good scrub where the moss was showing on the white paint. They kept thanking us and offering us money etc, but it warmed all our hearts so much. Apparently they have been telling everyone how lucky they are to have us helping them. But as we said tonight all we have done is given up around 4 hours of our time. It has given them a bit more dignity for them to live independently, as they now have flowers to look at and everything just looks smarter. It just shows how something so simple can help someone so much. We made a decision as a group tonight to officially adopt them and help them once or twice a term now. It made my day just to see the smile they had on their faces when they opened their front door and saw it all finished.

Heather was interesting at rangers tonight, she tried to act like nothing has ever happened between us. That everything is peachy and fab. So I just played along with her, she seemed shocked that I was. But I'm not willing to waste my time and energy anymore on fixing something which doesn't want to be fixed. But we will see I'm still having to go to her place on Friday and cook them dinner, I don't know how it will be. But the happy mask will be back on so I won't get the lectures from her.

I wish I was asleep right now but the fun of not sleeping has kicked in again. I have so much going on in my head right now that is so messed up I can't put it to one side and actually sleep. I wish I had the answers, the solutions and a magic wand to fix it all or a time machine to go change things. I wish I could explain it but I can't, it's far too messed up for words right now. I want someone to come along and knock me out for a couple of hours so I don't think about it and actually quit looking like a professional zombie impressionist. It's not like I can even have a lie in, cos I'm getting my hair cut (yay!!), then going for lunch with heidi and trying to fix the roadkill I have made of our friendship in the last 2 months before she disappears to Barbados on Thursday.

Can someone please send me some sleep?