Rangers

Tonight I thought was going to be a good night at rangers. And for most of it, it really was good. I thought Helen (one of the other ranger leaders) was going to be a bit shitty with me. But no it was all good, we had a great chat and it was all good. I had a good laugh with the girls. But then Heather(my godmother) showed up.
She was just a total bitch towards me. She was lovely, nice as pie with everyone else. Then when we going back to start the bbq, I ended up in a room with her by myself and she was just really pissy and said so you want to stay monday night then. She was so aggressive and pissed off with me, I knew at that moment she didn't want me to stay. She also decided to tell me that I could only stay over night rather than a few days. We were then left by ourselves at the bbq. She couldn't say a single word to me. We just stood there in silence.
So I'm not going to stay at hers. I can't plain and simple. I thought I could trust her and she would understand what was happening with me and give me some of the support I actually need right now. Oh f*cking no she couldn't do that. That would be too much like hard work. But I know when I tell her I'm not going to stay, I will get the lecture of your hurting people again. Your being a selfish bitch again etc. I need help and support right now and there is no where left to turn. I just give up, I can't do this fight anymore.